The Game

Third times the charm

Another heartbreak, with another day break

I fall in love faster than an apocalyptic outbreak

Fighting to prove the man who couldn’t love me

It was him and not she-

Who was broken

It’s about damn time I have spoken

I was never a token-

To be won or lost

No thought about the cost

Or what you did to the girl

All that pressure made the pearl

But she still thinks she’s nothing

She looks in the mirror, says disgusting

And while the world is revolving she sits there

Solving a mystery of mental illness

How the world keeps moving-

Yet she can feel the stillness

Did it give you sick pleasure?

To lesser the self-esteem of treasure

Cause she can only see one’s trash

With every memory of every lash

But there’s a fire in her soul creating ash

She’ll use every flame to make her name

And with every line-

The credit’s mine

For it’s my time to shine

I will never be the same

There’s only higher to aim

Cause you may have won the round-

But, you can never win the game

Loss of Sleep

It’s 2:30 and I can’t sleep

For my thoughts are far too deep

Of hopes and dreams of what we’ll do

The very things I don’t dare say to you

I fear my thoughts will turn to heartaches

If I dare share my mental keepsakes

You say you won’t, but what if you run

You’ll say you’re sorry, but anxiety won

My hopes and dreams too big for two of us

Too big to even begin to discuss

On this late night I’ve seen us say “I do”

Growing old together, smiling at the view

Our kids going off and then coming home

This only begins where my mind continues to roam

I crave your touch, your love, your words

I crave us being complete and utter nerds

With smiles on our faces because we know

Of all the places we may adventure and go

No matter where we are geographical

In your arms will always be the most magical

What I Know - A Slam Poem

Let me tell you what I know
I know the sky is blue and the grass is green
I know oblivion is inevitable
I know I'm a big girl
And don't tell me otherwise because
I know that you're lying

I know what the doctors have been telling me since third grade,
"You are in the overweight percentile for your age group. Maybe you should cut out dairy?"
Like telling a nine-year-old girl, to cut out a main food group was a good idea.

I know that in my freshman year I lost 30 pounds for state fitness testing
That wouldn't let me graduate unless I'm a certain weight, because
I have a knee injury that prohibits me from running a mile in under seven minutes
Due to a jacked up system that says if you weigh more, you should run faster

I know that I am terrified of liking a boy thinner than me,
Because of the off chance they wanted to pick me up,
I feel like I would crush them

I know that I hate shopping because when I want to wear that cute daisy crop top,
I get told, "Only skinny girls can wear that."
By my own mother nonetheless

I know society needs to stop making fat an insult and skinny a compliment
What does "skinny" look like? Those girls in the magazines? Sweetheart!
Those girls in the magazines don't even look like those girls in the magazines
All because our society demands unrealistic perfection

I know that in high school I would never have had the courage to say these things
Because I was nervous on how people who may or may not remember me in four years may react
Fuck it. Listen to what my loud mouth has to say and I will tell you what I know

I know I am a big girl, and I know that's okay
I know that I'm still scared of what you're going to say
I know that that was a rhyme
Now let me thank you for your time